hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
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I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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