Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
