we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
