I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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