Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
