The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
