i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
