All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
