I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
