wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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