Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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