I didn't shave. On purpose
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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