is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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