i don't like sucking hair
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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