I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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