babies were throwing up all over the place
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
