Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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