the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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