perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
