its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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