I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
