I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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