What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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