I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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