If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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