I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
