pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
