Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize