she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
