She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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