I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
did i just pee glitter
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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