If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize