You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
