Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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