So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
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Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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