Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize