FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
