Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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