At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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