he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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