I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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