I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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