your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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