Where did you get a picture of my penis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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