allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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