I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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