Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the condom got lost in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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