I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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