Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
