There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
