i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
