don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
