do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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