I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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