i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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