Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize