It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is my gift to your gina
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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