with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
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nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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